Just what, is an "LOL WUT?"
Well, it's not quite WTF.
LOL WUT??? is generally a more amused (or bemused) form of WTF. But it also can imply many shades of meaning in between "huh???" and "WTF??". Or a cross between "where the hell did THAT come from?" and "this is totally wack." Or "that's pretty funny dude. Wait a minute, what did you just say?" Or simply "Whatever".
When I'm working on the list, I just let items tumble out: off the top of my head, uncensored. I think that gives the unconscious mind a say. It also helps to weed out "shoulds" or "ought to's" disguised as "want to's".
If you read the list, you may have noticed 3 "LOL WUT"'s
21. Be a Cowgirl's Sweetheart
47. Be a Juggalo for a week
48. Prove that I am the REAL Slim Shady.
An LOL WUT requires delicate handling.
Ponder why it is on the list. What do you really need or want out of it? In #47, I just had a curiosity about the Juggalo subculture. What do they do? What do they believe in? What would it be like to live as one of them for a week? Is there anything I need in my life before my "good day to die"? What about after?
#21 is a little different. It started out as a crude comment scribbled next to "Ride a horse". (Think of a Big 'n Rich song, reverse the genders, and you get the gist.) It's sometimes a hard call to tell whether it's just fear putting the brakes on your desires, or whether you're in danger of violating your values.
In this case, it was clearly the latter. So what do I do with it? There's clearly something there I need. My mental soundtrack changed. The old Patsy Montana Song - "I wanna be a cowboy's sweetheart" started playing. Now reverse the genders on THAT one.
The song kind of just lays the essence of the desire open - learn to ride, to rope, ride trails with someone special, sing for them at night, etc. etc.
And of course, learn to yodel.
Note how sometimes, if you don't label it as "evil" or "naughty", or if you don't try to shout it down ("DON'T THINK THAT!!!") the unconscious mind sometimes feeds you the answer.
Sometimes not.
Sometimes it wants you to really work for it. Which leads us to:
#48 - Oh. Dear. Lord. This one came in a dream. Seriously. I was walking out of a co-parenting meeting, my usual nerdy self. As I walked, I started straightening up, walking more with a strut, took off the nerdy glasses, ran my hands through my hair which was now bleach blond. A limo pulls up, out steps a Q-dog linebacker bodyguard.
Have you seen the last few minutes of "The Usual Suspects?" It was very much like that.
We arrive at a stadium, we're met by Flav-O-Flav's bigger, scarier and better dressed doppleganger. He does my intro onstage, the crowd goes wild, I do a profanity -laden rap. The crowd goes wild again, I shout something with the words "Good night" and "Mother" and... something else that was plural. I throw the mike down. I walk off to high fives from "flav-o-flav".
You may switch from LOL WUT to WTF if you like.
But not that odd, if you think about it.
As you know, I'm going through a divorce. There's all sorts of wild family gossip going on. Criticism. Even though I'm out of the house, criticism of what I do, don't do, intend to do, might one day do.
No surprise then, that I found "The Eminem Show" cathartic to the extreme.
"This looks like a job for me/So everybody up and follow me/Cause we need a little...controversy/Life would be so empty without me!!!"
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